Getting Back Up
by bhut
Summary: Post Avengers: War of the Vampires comic arc. Winter's Guard are given a pep talk about their poor performance. Sadly, it's from Chernobog, who isn't very good at this sort of thing. The Red Widow's worse though. Canon divergence. Post 'Planning on the Fly'. Some spoilers.


**Getting Back Up**

_Disclaimer: all characters belong to Marvel™._

…Upon Chernobog's arrival, it was clear to him that the mortal part of the Winter Guard had not fared so well against the vampire forces earlier, and were out of favor with their handlers as well. The fact that the Ursa Major was talking was not helping the morale either.

"…And you are absolutely right," Chernobog agreed, speaking over the Ursa Major, something that not many people could do, (and even those who could, did it only rarely – Chernobog did not care about such intricacies right now). "We all dropped the ball this time – well, balls, because we're talking about different ones, but still. The point stands."

There was a pause as the rest of the Winter Guard looked at the animalistic mutant, but the latter was silent now, looking downwards, at the petite woman that Chernobog manifested via his own powers right before the Ursa. She was facing him and so the rest of the Winter Guard could not see her face, but from what they could see, she was fairly tall and slender, dressed old-fashioned, fair-skinned and dark haired.

"Where were we?" Chernobog spoke up once more, bringing their attention back to him. Now the god of darkness was sitting on a solid stone throne, lounging on it in a way that was not quite human. "Ah yes, it all began with _me_. I and the good old Perkunas – I mean, Perun, you New Age crazy kids, had some closure, when it was the _least_ convenient for our handlers in Moscow and the Red Widow. They weren't amused, I got chastised, and in the process got pulled off duty, and so the vampires were able both to kill my distant relatives in Madripoor _and_ fly rings around you…though not at the same time, thank Svarog for small mercies." He snapped his claws, the phantom maiden before Ursa vanished, and the mutant switched his attention back to the god.

"You talk of mercy," he began to roar, when Chernobog hit him hard in the noggin, and the mutant fell down.

"Yes," the god hissed, showing his teeth, mirror-like razors set in a head of inky blackness that was not looking very human _at all_. "I do. We serve Mother Russia, lads – and fair lassie Darkstar, not the other way around, and if you fail, she will always have a knockout punch to make it _worse_. Between my failure to function in a team and yours to defeat the vampires, neither the Widow nor her superiors are particularly impressed with any of us, and the only reason as why we have not been replaced by the next generation is that the next generation is not ready yet to replace us! We must convince them that we can go toe-to-toe with the actual Avengers, eventually or soon, or we're done, and in a bad way."

"Tell us something that we don't know," the Ursa Major grunted as he began to get back up.

Chernobog lashed out with his foot, fully intent on kicking the mutant while the latter was down, but the latter lashed out with his claws, grabbing the god and pulled, intent on pulling him down from his seat and doing some harm to Chernobog – possibly, since the more the Winter Guard learned about the dark god, the less human his anatomy appeared to be-

"That's enough," said the Red Widow, and everyone immediately snapped to attention, including the Ursa Major _and_ Chernobog. "The dark god speaks truth-" Everyone instinctively looked at the latter, but Chernobog clearly had no intention of interrupting the latest 'graduate' of the Red Room. "You were competent, more or less, when you faced off with Namor's Defenders of the Deep _and_ had the Avengers caught flat-footed, but that is no longer enough. The world is moving forwards, and you are _not_. So, shape-up, or…" she pointed to her naginata, and everyone nodded, gulping.

"So, what are our orders?" Darkstar and Vanguard asked simultaneously.

"You will undergo more training as well as figure out how to keep up with the rest of the world," the last words were said with a glance at the Dynamo, currently unarmored. "Otherwise…" Everyone gulped again.

Their comm.-links, (not as advanced as their American counterparts, but still quite functional), beeped.

"We need to go to Svaneti now," the Red Widow said simply. "Start shaping up!"

And everyone complied.

End


End file.
